Before Bobae was born, I knew I’d be an excellent mother. I knew everything would come naturally for me, and I would be so happy!  Well, I’m definitely happy, but things sure didn’t come easily for me!!!  The first two weeks have been quite hard. When I see my other friends’ post about motherhood they all seem so well adapted and natural about taking care of their precious babies.  I was starting to feel like I would never get the hang of anything! So, I want to write about this in case there are any other new moms having a hard time, just to know they aren’t the ONLY one struggling with being a mommy!

Breast Feeding:

I’ve always known that I would breast feed my baby.  The immunities, nutritional benefits, bonding, etc., that could never be replaced.  Within about 10 minutes of Bobae’s birth she was nursing, and doing it quite well!  For the next four hours, she didn’t stop.  My nipples were so sore, it was unbearable. THey were bruised, cracked, bleeding, etc.  She had a good latch, so that wasn’t the reason, but she ate so often they didn’t have a chance to heal.  I would cry almost every time I fed her.  Once in a while I would scream with pain. Awful!  She was eating constantly.  If she was awake (which was often) she was eating.   Finally a doctor gave me a perscription for ‘Jack Newman’s Nipple Ointment’, which has helped a bit but she eats so often, I don’t think it gets a chance to heal me!  16 days later, I still feel like someone is sawing off my nipple with a jagged knife every time she starts to eat. BUT we keep doing it!  In the last week she’s gained a pound, so that makes it ALL worth it.  Good job baby girl :)  At her one week birthday she started a growth spurt.  Eating constantly. I couldn’t even get 15 minutes without her eating.  She didn’t sleep ALL night, she just ate the entire night… i stayed up crying and feeding her.  For the next week, she was like this! It’s only been the past couple of days that she’s settled down some. YEESH!!!!!!!!!!! Despite all of this, I’m so happy I can help my baby girl grow strong and healthy.

Nights

Oh. My. Goodness.  I am an eight hours a night+ kind of person. I NEED my sleep!  If I don’t get 8 hours, it’s hard for me to function.  Before I had the baby, I was a very light sleeper.  I needed the right pillow, the right temperature, the right blanket, right side of the bed, right level of light, etc.  Well I have gone from being “the princess and the pea” to “the princess and the watermelon”. I will sleep any way I get the chance these days.  Before the baby was born, people always gave the annoying advice “sleep when the baby is sleeping”. Well obviously that sounds ideal but it doesn’t always happen.  On an average day, I get about 3 hours where she’s not in my arms.  I have to decide between brushing my teeth, taking a shower, eating, cleaning, organizing, posting pics on facebook, doing something I want to do…  I thought before she was born that newborns sleep a LOT so why would there be any problem getting sleep?  AGH!  I have to start 3 hours early every night.  About 8:30 we have a bath, and I start feeding her.  She’ll eat lots, then drift off to sleep.  As soon as I put her down, she wakes up and realizes I’ve put her down and FREAKS out!!!! So it starts again, I feed her, she falls asleep, i put her somewhere, she wakes up mad.  This usually goes on for 2.5-3 hours.  FINALLY she goes to sleep~~!~!!  The last couple days I’ve been very lucky and she’s slept for 4 hours the first set of sleeping.  THen she usually wakes up for 2 hours, with the feeding sleeping waking cycle, then sleeps for about 2 hours, then is up for 3 hours.  Those three hours are HARD! Sometimes they start at 3am or 4am,but almost always last for three hours of the feeding cycle.  It really wears on me. There’s nothing my husband can do to help me, and I’m so exhausted!!  She must be tired too….. We’re only two weeks into this, but I’m hoping we can get into some type of schedule!! When she finally sleeps, she’s so precious and sweet that I don’t (hardly) care anymore that she’s kept me up all night.

Diapers:

Okay this one is easy! It’s not hard to change a diaper, nothing to be scared of! WHen my husband is here, he’s on diaper duty, but when he’s not, it’s up to me, and honestly it’s very easy.  Speed is of the essence.  Bobae does not like to be cold and exposed, so the faster the better.  We’re planning to use cloth diapers, we have them all prepped and ready, but we’re using the little disposables we’ve received as gifts until i’ve got things more under control. 

Pain~ down there :|

Bobae was born naturally, and I had no stitches.  I DID have tearing though.  The doctor said the tears should be able to heal naturally and I wouldn’t have to have stitches.  After she was born, every time I would pee, I would have SO MUCH PAIN! It was like acid being sqirted into my cuts! AGH!  It was still hurting very badly when I left the hospital, so they did a urine test to make sure there was no infection. THere wasn’t.  Besides the burning pee, I just had so much general pain that it made walking sitting and standing quite painful.  This pain went on for about 10 days, and then went away! Yay!  I used the squirt bottle with baking soda and warm water every time I peed, and that seemed to do the trick :)  Now I’m so excited that my pain has gone from 10/10 to 2/10!! The bad pain made me appreciate the absence of pain :)  Thanks baby girl for coming out so smoothly!

THE BELLY BUTTON!

Okay, this is probably the scariest of all the things.  On day 10, her umbilical cord fell off!  We were scared of it to begin with.  Charles handed her to me to feed and screamed “Ahh! It’s gone!!”  We looked down and it was laying on the floor!.  We picked it up and put it on the coffee table.  Later charles was cleaning stuff up and I said “Did you know her belly button is in your hand?” He looked down and realized, screamed and jumped up in the air “AHH!!”.  He thought it was a dried up bean.  ANyway, her belly button was kind of oozing, gooey blood a bit, some yellow stuff, and a bump would push out when she cried.  I called the hospital freaking out and they told me as long as it doesnt smell bad and she doesnt havea fever it should be fine.  First the next almost week, we’ve found dry blood on the sleepers when we change her and the belly button still bleeds a little.  The doctor said yesterday it is perfectly fine and no problem, so don’t worry about it :) PHEWF!!

The Crying (of me)

Lucky for us, Bobae doesn’t cry unless she’s hungry and I don’t get to her in time. SO I make up for it.  For her first two weeks I would cry at least once a day. Sometimes out of exhaustion, sometimes out of despair, sometimes out of guilt, but always something! This was very disconcerting to my husband :p

The Scratching

HOLY razor sharp claws batman!  If we let her hands loose, within minutes she will have scratched herself and me. YIKES! So we wear mittens on her all the time :)

Hiccups

Poor baby gets hiccups ALL the time!!!  It seems the only thing that gets rid of them if for her to cry.. So usually we let her have the hiccups until she gets frustrated and cries. Then I feed her to make her happy again :)

Despite these hard things, I wouldn’t change her for the world.  I feel so lucky and blessed every day to have this precious gift from God.  Being Bobae’s mom is the best feeling in the world. I love you baby girl!